Just Saw 2012. Why Does John Cusack always wear the same outfit in EVERY movie?
I think he only gets work because he brings his own costume.
AND, WORST MOVIE EVER, i might write more later, though the film just really isn’t worth my time.
Archive for the 'Fiction' Category
19
Nov
09
FuCk 2012
18
Nov
09
Hungry like the wolf
Chapter Fore
Her eyes glistened under the dance lights, her sparkly, blue, short-cut, dress lit up my world. I ran towards her on all fours at top speed. Pounced and knocked her unconscious. Perfect. I could feel the saliva welling underneath my fangs as I carried her home. I restrained her with soft, black, nylon rope, she was positioned head towards the ground on a table I had set at about 60 degrees. The support around her head was fitted with an irrigation system that allowed for efficient collection of blood in the large jug that rested on the floor below.
She regained consciousness and gazed at me with her bloodshot eyes.
“This will only take a second.” I murmured, as I launched at her throat biting open her jugular. The blood flowed a thick river of red through the tubing and into the container.
The taste of the blood sharpened my senses, my eyes grew larger, my heart rate increased two-fold. I took a deep breath, a feeling of almost orgasmic relief fell over me.
“Thanks Love.”
18
Nov
09
quick ficks
So i was getting ready, and i could hear this fucking awful squawking, and it was a cat fighting with a bird over the baby bird, so i ran out and fucked off the cat, and the mother bird kind of looked at me like “thank you” so i picked up the two of them and drop kicked them over the fence “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
Chapter Dos.
Back at the castle, Princess April was doing her hair with a new Hannah Montana brush. Once April became princess she got into a bisexual relationship with Miley Cyrus. Oh yeah. And gave me a fucken sweet guitar. As the sun set over the magical mushroom kingdom, April stood there on her balcony, gazing into the distance, brushing her gorgeous brunette locks.
Humphries the butler ran hastily into the room, holding open a golden scroll. This was from “Fuck off” mountain. It was a threat from Brad Gunt. High sorcerer of “Fuck off” Mountain. The threat read as follows:
“Dear Princess April,
Could you please not play your music so loud after 10:30pm. If you could even just turn it down say 6dB it would be much appreciated. Thank you.
Brad.”
“What? What an Ass! I’m a princess I’ll do what I want!” the princess shouted. “Ohh we are going to have a party, oh yes my dears, tonight, we party.”
Umm, This is the kingdom where Ape-DAWG lives:
I don’t know where i go the image, it was on someone’s photobucket.
Chapter Juan
This is my story, i’m going to tell it in my own style.
Straight up meet our hero;
Meet Daniel. Bravest knight in all the land.
Yeah, this was a photo of me fighting a Dragon, see how I’m not worried at all. That’s because I’m cool. =)
Daniel was at home one night, reheating some old Mcdonald’s chips that Matt hadn’t eaten. He had added ground chili, salt and a touch more oil. Then he drank milk through a chocolate Corinthian wafer straw. As he was returning to his quarters, he was interrupted by a small and plump Iranian man.
“Hossein!” he shouted.
Daniel glared at him in confusion.
“I am Hossein!” said the small, round man. His cheeks bright, and rosy and his brow grey, and heavy.
“Uh, hi, I’m Daniel” said our hero, quite withdrawn. “Yeah, just gonna uh, eat my chips now”
The man beamed at Daniel’s plate of chilli fries.
“could i uh, just have a…”
“SPIES!” shouted Daniel as he smashed the plate of chips across the rounded features of this strange man’s face. The man’s pointy nose cushioned the blow and he threw a right hook at Daniel’s chin. Daniel blocked the attack with his left elbow and thrust his right hand into the man’s chest, tearing out his still beating heart. He then proceeded to throw the man and his heart over the fence into the neighbours yard and forgot about him.
Daniel entered his room, sat on his bed and prepared to watch Toy Story 2. As he was about to press play, the phone rang.
“RING! FUCKEN RING!”
“Hello?” Daniel enquired, playing sober in case it was his boss.
“Daniel, this is princess April, what’s the date?”
“Pfft fucks me, Wednesday?”
“Daniel, I need you to go through the gates of Lexicon and find out”
“Oh, can I do it after I watch toy story? I’ve got these chips and they’re really good…”
“No, I need you to go now.”
“ugh Fine.”
Daniel, hung up the phone and headed towards the stables. Within the stable’s lived Daniel’s rainbow stallion Hugo.
“C’mon Hugo,” Daniel sighed. “Going on a quest for the princess. Doesn’t know what the date is or some fucking thing.”
“I can’t talk, in case the audience was wondering.”
“Holy shit you can talk?”
“No, well, yes,” Hugo stumbled on his words. “But it was supposed to be a secret until chapter 2.”
“Oh, well we can pretend, if you want?”
“No,no it’s ok, whatev’s.”
“Sorry Dude.”
As Daniel and Hugo rode into the sunset, Daniel wondered if they’d gone too far for him to go back and get his ipod.
07
Nov
09
All in a day’s work.
I decided to try and develop a style where the same story occurs if you mix around the paragraphs, like a Tarrantino film. I don’t know if i did it here, but i came up with the idea about half way through, and I’m pretty drunk and didn’t want to forget this idea. I’m going to make it fit the structure, but i’m drunk and can’t right now.
I stood in the small, dimly lit bathroom. I was washing the blood off my hands into the sink. My hands were wrapped in a white cloth, which was now stained with blood. The water from the faucet caused the blood to spread throughout the cloth, turning them almost completely red. They felt awkward against my hands. I quickly undid them, anxious to relieve myself this discomfort. I looked up into the mirror, my long dark hair dripping with sweat, cuts and bruises across my face.
I could see the old man in the reflection. He was standing behind me, pondering whether to walk into “the room”.
“Think twice old man.” I muttered.
He stopped. His elongated skeletal figure whimpering in an almost unnatural mannar, he paused his breathing for a few moments. Then cried out in his mother tongue and headed back into the night.
The cloths were not bandages, they were wraps, to protect my wrists. The blood was not mine, it belonged to the executives who lay mangled and mutilated upon the boardroom floor. It was my job, to take them out. I don’t know who they were, or what they did, i just knew they had to be dead.
I received the instructions via phone call as always. The instructions were to take out all the men in the meeting that was to take place in “X” building at “Y” O’clock.
I’m very personal, i like to do everything by hand. I arrived outside the building 2 hours before the scheduled meeting time. Nobody showed up until a quarter to “Y”
I can’t be bothered finishing this now, i’m gonna watch Aladdin or Hannah Montana or something
I don’t, i do’t even think, i like the story, i should do the zombie guy again.
